The word “bounadaries” alone, appears to the human consciousness collective to stand for a mixed bag of emotional and spiritual meaning. For many, it appears to represent a Pandora’s box of sorts which seems to currently trigger the most intense feeling signatures within one’s heart center. The feelings include, but are not limited, to fear, abandonment, isolation, agitation, and many more.
The most important feeling signature that I feel so led to share with you today about boundaries is the resulting feeling of SELF LOVE. Setting and honoring clear boundaries of both an incoming and outgoing nature, is the ultimate key to your final step in enlightenment due to the resonance boundaries creates with self love.
I won’t even attempt to make the process of setting clear incoming boundaries easy, as it is a slippery slope that will trigger you and catalyze you to break your heart center WIDE open. You may experience many emotions that lead you to integration of various common core beliefs, including but not limited to the following:
Many people fear both incoming and outgoing boundaries due to the following natural consequences;
• Fears of being abandoned, manipulated, punished and possibly inevitably forsaken altogether (as shown by the core beliefs and negative imprints listed above); • The awareness and utter despair and futility feeling signatures one experiences when they realize that the process of setting clear incoming boundaries may involve a lack of actual conflict resolution.
(Nothing feels worse than the exhaustion that embodies futility when one notices that setting boundaries isn’t actually helping one receive the desired outcome attached to the necessity of setting the boundary in the first place.)
I would like to explain and clear up the common misconception that boundaries are meant to be relieving. Boundaries will not initially involve or create conflict resolution, until the core belief that caused them to be necessary is integrated. Initially, boundaries will catalyze you and anyone involved in receiving said boundary, towards your ultimate spiritual expansion and awareness.
Boundaries strip you emotionally bare to the point of your deepest and most aware vulnerability, which causes you to eventually be forced to do the most important thing possible for yourself in your individual and collective enlightenment journey: self love.
From the 5D perspective, boundaries feel natural. From the 4D perspective, boundaries feel somewhat painful, but then empowering once one can dis-identify from the fears thereof. From the 3D perspective, boundaries feel nothing short of the most immense panic and agitation possible.
Step one in preparing to set or honor boundaries is to integrate all the core beliefs listed above that created the need to be in the position to require said boundaries. Step two is a specific tool that I use when setting boundaries called “the compliment sandwich”.
As hokey and corny as the term “compliment” seem to most of us, complimenting another human being is the most loving thing one can do for oneself and the receiving being, as it magnifies the other being’s “goodness”. Goodness is the ultimate feeling that humans need to be reminded that they still have, in order to move forward into healing the human conscious collective.
Here are the steps listed for you to utilize the “compliment sandwich” during boundary setting:
1. Compliment (or love). If you don’t know the person who requires the boundary, give them an authentic compliment. Finding a compliment helps point out the innate “goodness” in another human being, which opens the heart center to RECEIVE your boundary. If you know the person well, share something that embodies what you love about them instead.
2. Set a gentle boundary; then
3. Consideration. ASK then other person if they will consider honoring your boundary and let them know how grateful you would feel if they should choose to do so. This causes walls to release, which helps the person relinquish resistance; and finally
4. End the conversation with love and gratitude. Say “thank you” and “I love you”. If you do not know the person well enough to express love, compliment them instead.
Please keep in mind that this tool may or may not result in an immediate conflict resolution, as conflicts are the most emotionally vulnerable time to set a boundary (and to receive one). However, this practice paves the way for each person involved to honor and loves themselves and eventually, each other. Sometimes loving the other person involves releasing them from your life either temporarily or permanently. This is the most frightening part of setting and honoring boundaries.
The human conscious collective is in a very precarious position which involves many believing that they will literally die if they must face the fear of such loss. Tread cautiously and tend gently to your hearts when following this process. Open your lives to receiving love and support from a network of loving family and friends around you during the catalyzing journey of setting or honoring boundaries.
I love you always, Pamela